Cheers to a New Year....

And another chance to get it right! (Oprah Winfrey).  But how do you get it right?  There is endless information about why resolutions do not work as well as steps on how to be successful.  But if you are like me, you have made numerous resolutions that have not been met with success. Of course, there are many reasons for this, as my goggle search indicates.  But the one I want to talk about today has actually helped me and my clients to make incredible changes.  It all has to do with our brains and a chemical called Dopamine which is central to the reward system. It is associated with the pleasure system of the brain, which produces feelings of enjoyment and motivates one to perform certain activities.

Rebecca Skloot, a well-known science writer, wrote an article for O Magazine a few years ago titled, “Why is it so Damn Hard to Change?”  Her research led her to a process that takes place in your brain.  Dopamine, according to Skloot, tells your brain what you want, then motivates us to get it regardless of whether it is good for you or not.  An example of this process might start with a dark, nugget-filled piece of candy (you will have to substitute your own temptation if this does not work for you).  I decide to take a bite of my candy, which gives me great pleasure, and this produces a Dopamine surge.  Some of that chemical travels to the part of the brain that creates memories and registers this candy with getting a reward. Even though I might think about how bad the candy was for me to eat, given I am trying to eat more nutritiously, my brain registers a “Dopamine Jackpot!”  Dopamine also then travels to another part of the brain that controls desire, decision-making, and motivation.  So, the next time I see a piece of chocolate my brain releases a surge of Dopamine that motivates me to eat the chocolate.  When you eat it your brain releases even more Dopamine which just reinforces this cycle.  Skilled states, “This is exactly how habits form.”  Eventually, you may get dopamine surges just walking by the candy isle or even seeing a candy wrapper! 

 So what does all this mean for the new year?  First, if you understand this cycle you might not be so hard on yourself if you fall off the wagon.   There is something biological going on after all! This doesn’t let you off the hook, however.   For instance, having SMART goals – Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Reliable, and Timely – is important.  And, of course, there is great advice on the internet to guide you when designing your plan.  But, understanding the Dopamine cycle gives you a lot more control to influence your habits and to create healthy ones.   The secret is identifying rewards for a behavior that engages the Dopamine system so your brain connects the positive outcome with it.  Yes, we can actually trick our brains!! So, in 2011, my new behavior will be to walk for 30 minutes at 3 times a week with a manicure at the end of the week if I have accomplished my goal. This should give me a really nice Dopamine surge that will reinforce my exercise plan.   Actually I think I feel a surge just thinking about it!  What will it be for you?  Pick the behavior you want and reward it with something meaningful.  Is it more exercise? Losing weight? Managing your finances more effectively?  Change is possible!  Reward yourself and see what happens.  To see the entire article, check out the link below.  Happy New Year!  

http://rebeccaskloot.com/why-is-it-so-damn-hard-to-change/

How Do You Approach Change?

Change is constant! we are reminded, usually right after we forget this truth. But we love when things stay the same. It feels safe and delicious. We revel in following our holiday traditions. We feel accomplished working for 20 years for the same company. We develop comfortable, repetitive every day routines to keep our lives ‘on track.’

But we know in our hearts that change is happening all around us, all the time, large and small, sometimes life-shattering and sometimes not. How these changes and opportunities work out is up to us—and how we greet and think about change.

As a woman in midlife, you may be hearing a call for personal change. It may be just an intuition that your job or a relationship must change or it may be a nagging truth, you’ve been tamping down for years. How will you handle it? Will you greet it with an open heart or with worry?

However you feel about change, you are not alone. There are many women out there dreaming about breaking out of behaviors, jobs and relationships who don’t know where to start—and this is where my life coaching practice comes in.

Life coaches supply the structure and encouragement most people need to accept or plant the seeds of change. Just like anything else in life we want to excel at, we need a solid, practical plan and to keep at the plan one small task at a time. Picture the work more like moving small pieces of debris out of your way, rather than a mountain to climb.

And the coaching collaboration is productive and fun. Working with a coach gives you access to ideas you might never think of on your own, if you are blocked by old thought patterns and beliefs. Sometimes just a little tweak or suggestion makes something impossible possible.

Answering the Midlife Call of Transformation, Hope and Possibility

If you’re here with me today, you are probably one of the 43 million midlife American women between the ages of 40 and 60. And like so many of us, you are probably thinking about changing your life or reinventing yourself professionally or personally. Well, welcome! You’ve come to the right place. Your midlife restlessness or dissatisfaction or dreams are completely natural. As a certified life coach, whose passion is helping women like you redefine their lives, I would be honored to help you make this incredible transformation.

Midlife is different for us than it was even for our mothers’ generation. To start, we had and now have more life choices. We know more about the world. We’ve gone to college and had careers. We’re more health conscious and in-tune with our bodies. And research shows that we are more hopeful about our post-midlife future than our counterpart middle-aged men. So, not surprisingly, there’s a midlife movement afoot in our Baby Boomer legions. More and more women are redefining themselves— sometimes by returning to the passions they nurtured before family and careers and sometimes by making the changes that bring long-awaited peace.

So what will your hope-laced, possibility-filled next act be? What talent or penchant did you put aside years ago while pursuing your dream job or starting a family? What tabled project or pursuit did you enjoy so much that you lost track of time? What would you change if you believed that change was possible?

You can redefine your life. We all have the ability to make it happen. We also have the ability to create roadblocks to getting there. With practical planning and support, you can get there—you will get there. And it would be my pleasure to coach and support you along that path.

Contact Linda Denton at www.Redefineyourlifeafter45.com or by calling 860-888-8605.