In Tavis Smiley's new book, "Fail Up: 20 Lessons on Building Success from Failure" he describes how opportunity and success are often just beneath the surface of "disappointment, despair, or disgrace." As he shares his own life stories, he is able to reflect on how his past "failures" actually turned out to be incredible life lessons that propelled him upward to great success. His book is inspiring and real!
But we all have our own stories and life failures don't we? I can look back at many events in my life, feeling at the time that I had failed miserably at something, only to see it as a lesson and stepping-stone to a small or great success later on. Smiley's book got me thinking about how our perceptions color our actions. I have written in earlier blogs about how our thoughts influence our actions. Positive action results from positive, accurate thinking. It is important, then, at some point in life, to look back at those events and incidents and see how they led us to a new and better place. But the more difficult task, I believe, is to be able to do this when we are in the middle of a difficult situation. How do you change your view on a perceived failure as you are experiencing it? Here is a technique that has helped me reframe my perceptions.
Literally, get an unused picture frame and keep it out in a visible location. When you are feeling stuck in what you see is a "spiral of failure," pick it up, look into it, and create a new picture by using some of these strategies:
1. Look for 5 lessons you have learned from the present situation so far.
2. Identify 5 potential, positive opportunities that might arise.
3. Recall 5 perceived failures you have experienced in your life in the past that turned out to be successes.
4. Read about successful people and their stuggles with failure.
5. Talk to friends and family to help you gain a new view of your situation.
This exercise can be quite powerful in changing our perceptions on failure. I wish you good luck in failing up!
